Pujji Bhag Bh****d

Who can forget this famous line by Rohit to Cheteshwar Pujara. A visibly animated Rohit  gifted this gem to Pujara and was caught on the stump mic, when he wanted a quick single and Pujara refused to oblige, during a test match against South Africa. 

Pujji as he is fondly called by his teammates, was arguably the best number three batsman in the Indian test cricket team post   “Dravid -The Wall” era. It was natural for people to compare Pujji with his legendary predecessor due to his ability to keep batting for longer period of time. 

He amassed 7000 plus runs with an average of 43 plus and was consistent while doing it for almost a decade, becoming our go-to man during clutch situations. 

Considering his solid defence with the bat it wasn’t surprising that he was targeted by the opposition bowlers who invariably bowled him a bodyline to break him psychologically, which in turn resulted in him taking blows with balls shot at him with speeds in excess of 140km/hr, literally crushing his body, mind and soul.

To the unawares, a cricket ball striking you with the speed more than 140km/hr is equal to a hammer striking with full force on your body. But with each such blow that struck him, he dug deeper and became more resilient on the crease, he even dished out a smile at the bowler at times just to make him know that he needs to try lil more harder to get him. The next ball that he faced after the blow, was usually dispatched for a boundary, all with an air of arrogance. 

More often than not, bowlers got exhausted bowling long spells but he never showed any signs of fatigue even after standing on the crease for days together taking one blow after the other. 

On one such occasion, his post match pictures from dressing room were leaked in media, it narrated a traumatic story of his stay on the crease. It was during the famous gabba test that we had won. He had bruises, cuts and swelling all, unimaginable to a common man what he may have gone through while at the crease. Yet he never exhibited the pain while he was on pitch. He stood there like a valiant warrior in a cricketer’s uniform. 

But after years of service to the Indian cricket team, last week when Pujara declared his retirement from all forms of Indian cricket, it didn’t come as a shock. Displeasure yes, but not a shock. 

The man wasn’t picked up for selection in last two years. After proving time and again over the years what he could do, after proving his mettle, with his recent form in the domestic cricket, he was given a cold shoulder by the selectors, repeatedly. 

His chips were down, not knowing what more he could offer to get in that dressing room. May be the system wasn’t on his side. May be he wasn’t as enterprising as his peers. Whatever the reason was, the results weren’t  in pujji’s favour. 

What was in his hands was to accept this and walkout with his chin up while keeping his pride still intact. 

One still feels though, that the eight highest Indian test scorer definitely deserved a farewell, a respectful closure to expect the least. Or so we feel. 

But the phrase “respectful closure” seems like an alien to BCCI. This institute does not believe in such “menial” gestures. We’ve noticed this in past with stalwarts like VVS, Zaheer, Ashwin, Raina, Bhajji, Shikhar and many more. They gave their blood and sweat to the team but a few bad games and they were dropped like they never existed. Ignored by the management, selectors and coaches alike for long periods, ultimately resulting into a forced retirement with no hope for a comeback. 

Facing the same fate, finally, Pujji bhaga bh***d!! He ran not from the field but from the narrow visioned and ungrateful board he served for years. He ran to finally close one chapter and start another one, knowing the call from the management was now just a futile dream. 

No floral farewells, no glorious goodbyes whatsoever. Just Pujji and his tweet. 

This situation leads me to a question. Do such off field blows hurt more than the ones taken on the field? Only he who faces them can tell I guess. One thing is for sure, to face such a situation one’s mental stealth plays a huge part. The kind of stealth they practised on field over the years.

To take each blow with an air of arrogance and may be dish out a smile. No pain displayed, no scars flaunted. And when it’s all over, they just walk out knowing they did their part when it counted the most. 

Like these cricketers many of us, who aren’t from the cricketing world, face such situations at times. 

Month after month, year after year we give it all to the place we work at. We put everything on line for our enterprises, our firms only to realise one day that our visions and our dreams are sidelined or ignored when it mattered the most, by the very institution and people we bled for over the years. 

At that point in our lives we find ourselves questioning every decision we made that led us where we stand currently.

At this precise time

Pause. Pause and use the same mental toughness you showed over the years when you took those blows. Show the mental toughness with which you achieved everything over the years. Be brave enough to walk. 
Walk not because you are weak but walk because the narrowness of the vision of the firm probably isn’t helping you in the growth. On the contrary it may just bring self doubt. And while you do that, do not wait for a “grand closure” or “thank you farewell”. 

Walk. Just walk, with your chin up while you dish out a smile. 

the big b*ng theory...

aahhhhhh it happened with me when i turned almost 30.. yeah call me a loser of sorts for being late.

yeah i know many of u did it when u probably were in ur early teens.. Big Fking deal dude..

So ya, It hurts alot for the first time , bt finally settles in when people say its "normal" , its nt the last time it has happened, and nt that you r the last person on earth to experience it, it will keep happening in future too.. you tend to do it quite alot in your initial phase , it gradually reduces with experience and age. Sometimes u do it to others ... sometimes others do it to u.. part of the game. Do it , get excited, react.. move on. It can happen in ur own backyard , in your compound, paid places, anywhere, everywhere.

My dad tells me " beta just patient .. and careful "

And you know the best part.. sometimes you pay for it, and i've heard u get paid for it too sometimes, sometimes more than wht u expect

yeah baby.. the first bang of the car does it this to you.. you start thinking of it as an achievement, an experience, first hurdle crossed or like Mr Bacchhan likes to call it in his popular show .. manchaha padav..

I finally crossed it yesterday... but the worst of all was that i hadnt even started the car, it just slid down the slope. My fault - i pulled down the hand- break before i pressed the actual break.. and in next 3 seconds "Thadaaammmmmmmm" it bangs the car ahead .

In no time i had a crowd surrounding the car, analyzing it , advising me of wht i should have done to avoid it, asking if i have an insurance of the car, if i knew the owner of the car standing ahead of mine. Some philosophical charlies saying "chalo ab jo hona tha ho gaya, chinta mat karo, sab thik ho jayega". yeah rite bitch...

Me... just sitting numb in the car smirking, rewinding the last one minute in my head, shocked- yes. still trying to get in terms with the whole incident. Seemed like graduating... hell yeah... finally it happened at 30. .. better late than never I say .

Btw.. did i mention , It wasnt even my car ;)

If I were the prime minister of India

On 13^th june 2010 when I rewind about 15 yrs of my life I remember getting up to a cloudy, wet weather , drizzles of rain that had come from the crack of my window, wet my bed making it cooler than usual . Reasons to stay in bed longer but I also remember mom pulling me out of my bed to get ready to go to school... my first day after a two month long vacation.

“ WHAT THE …..? when did the vacations end ? I had just warmed up for it. I should have been informed …!! “ But sadly, I had to trot to my school removing my frustrations on the puddles that came on the way … I walked as slowly as possible thinking the watchman shuts the school gate saying “sorry kid u are late . Come on time tom”. Never worked.

In my school days I was a pretty average student . Frankly if someone called me “Average” it was an exaggeration … Average was as good as intelligent or genius to me.

Just to give a you an idea of my Average school life

My mathematics marks were equal to average marks achieved by the boys sitting in front of me and behind me .

Physics marks were directly proportional to the distance of my seat from the supervisor of the examination.

Had I studied chemistry I guess I would have been in jail or worse killed by the US for making weapons of mass destruction, accidentally.

Biology had worst effects on my religious knowledge in which we had to sacrifice cockroaches and dissect frogs .. I couldn’t let go off my religion, I sacrificed bio.

My knowledge of history is really good , I do remember when India got its freedom ,15^th august 1947 ,and yes the father of the nation is Mahatma Gandhi and err ..err.. isn’t it ok to know what more than half the nation just precisely knows? Nothing more , nothing less .

In one of the geography unit tests I remember coloring the whole UP when we were told to mark new delhi.. should I say anything more ..?

This leaves me with 3 subjects, Hindi, Marathi and English. Staying in Mumbai I was a champ at hindi and Marathi , well I had grown up hearing a language which was kind of mix of both so I somehow managed to pass without much help from others.

One subject if u ask me that I liked the most was English. Not because it was easy or something but because it had comprehensions where answers were already in the above passages. Copy from top rather than from neighbors… legal, ethical.

It also was very exciting to me as I thought this subject did give me ‘My Space’ to write what I wanted to, it had questions that did ask me my opinions about the passages and the characters of comprehensions, on how I thought the passage should have ended . I was nt bound by what a text book had to offer, my mental diagram was not restricted to a shapeless amoeba or a headless hydra.

The ‘Rachael’ from the passage could be fat ,slim , tall, dark fair ,anything.. she was the ‘Rachael of my thoughts, my imagination .. She was my Rachael .

It also offered a lot of room for imagination when we had to write essays … wow… It was like a 30 min get away from the silent , scared classroom where students were wary, afraid and tired..

Essays were a place where I could ignite a story. Where autobiography was not of a pen or a Broken chair… where I was THE PEN , I was THE BROKEN CHAIR. I Remember writing many such essays …from ‘My Favorite Sport’ , to ‘My favorite Cartoon Character’, ‘A trip to Aquarium’ or ‘My teacher’. Amongst these topics there were a few topics that did leave a mark . A mark that asked a lot of questions and the answers to which I am still trying to find till date. Here are some ..

Two hours at railway station.. Simple topic .

Q : Why Two hours .

Ans : The train is late … Its Indian Railways. It is never on time. Not then , not now . Never .

Were they preparing us with the fact that Indian trains are never on time ? Who ever invented the topic was so aware that we are Indians and the topic is a hit even after a 100 yrs. Carry on children.. go royally after it . .

Another topic says My favorite leader “ Mahatma Gandhi “ : Guys …U need to ask us if he is our favorite leader . We have been ,since childhood programmed that whenever we talk about a leader , the first name that rings the bell is Mr. Gandhi. He was good , no doubt but not necessarily he is my favorite.

But the point is, Does it also indicate that in last 60 years after him and his contemporaries India stopped producing good leaders. .. That I let u guys answer after 60 years of his death… so this topic is a Super hit too.. Gandhiji will continue to be our favorite leader till we again fall under the rule of a foreign colony and then someone whose name is not Gandhi helps us get freedom from them… Hats off Mr.Gandhi – the immortal !!!

One of the topics tht was my most favorite topic and still is , is : If I were the Prime Minister of India.

Q: Why should a kid who is 10 yr old think about being a prime minister?

Q: Why Prime minister , why not a president ? isn’t president above prime minister ?? Oh, he is just a titular head .. means just appointed because we have to have a president . Why ?? Because The US has a president and the UK has a president and we need someone to give fake smiles and shake hands with the presidents of other countries when they meet each other. He doesn’t do much work anyways . I suppose even the president doesn’t know his/her duties and responsibilities. Atleast that’s what is evident in the current scenario.

Q: What if I wrote ,what I wanted to do if I were a prime minister ?? Will I be able to do what I want to after writing it ?

Q: Did our ex/current Prime Ministers write this essay when the when they were kids. ?? if yes

Are they implementing what they wrote ?? It must be funny if the wrote the current Indian script.

Q: Did the person whose brain-child this topic was , know that we will be facing worthless and toothless prime ministers who work on a remote ??

These and a few more topics have really been flirting with my mind for years.. Funny , ironic but quite far-sighted topics I must say…

To sum up , our favorite leader will continue to be Mr. Gandhi , our trains will still be late, we would still be writing essays on ‘An hour at government Office , ‘An evening wasted in a traffic jam and ‘When the city faced power cut” for generations to come. Some Classics !!

P.S. : Innocent thoughts penned down by a 10 yr old will help our ministers to know what the future of this nation wants and thinks . I request … please read it before we choose to make him our prime minister .

Opening my eyes to this wonderful oval called world , I came across these amazing species called people who were overjoyed and extremely ecstatic to see me . Well such a warm welcome for the starters . Not much Warmer than the place i was in for about 9 months.
I dnt remember much but it does bother me when i think about this one smell , whn a pretty thin guy in his early thirties held me in his arm for the first time. His hands smelt of smoke, trembling and I saw a couple of droplets of water come out of his eyes . . Tears i learnt later are condensed form of vapourized emotions emerging from a warm heart.. This man just never let me out of his hands for as long as i remember. . Dad is wht i was supposed to call him...

"Dad dunno if you would read this one ever but thank you for making it poss for me to write it.. "

The female who gave birth to me was called " MoM". Easy part( not very easy as they say ) to give birth is over.. difficult part starts now.. A Devil was born... I mean it wasnt my fault that i couldnt wake up on time for my nursery.. Never did in years.. why a change suddenly.. I'd rather go and bully the fatso next door and break his head .. but this woman was hell bent on making me wear my uniform and pack me off from home... well Do it at your own peril "Mrs Daddy's wife".. I'll continue the same there too... I forgot She was my MOM... Slaaaap Slaaap .. came the reply... No messing here "Master Daddy's son" was the reply... followed by a Goldspot after an hour... My first encounter with a female.. not a very good one. :(

That laid the foundation of our " cant stay without fights-cant stay without talking " relation for the rest of our lives...